Dunderheid

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j2 lot
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Re: Dunderheid

Post by j2 lot » Sat Jan 31, 2015 8:41 pm

Got a brand new Elise delivered on a trailer ( only Lotus I didn't buy from MMC) & took my envious neighbour for a 'quick run around the block' as he was due to leave to go to pick up his mother in law at a pre arranged point some 30 miles away at mid point on the road up from Stranraer.
Drove for about 3 miles and pulled in to do a U- turn only for the car to splutter to a halt with no fuel. Neither of us had a phone & by the time I had walked to the nearest garage and back with fuel his wife had given up waiting and gone to pick her mum up herself.
Turns out the delivery driver was supposed to fill the car up before he dropped it off but forgot :roll:
( subsequent cheque in lieu of fuel was rather healthy and equated to about 3 tankfulls :thumbsup )
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tut
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Re: Dunderheid

Post by tut » Sat Jan 31, 2015 8:44 pm

Youse are all life failures, been racking my brains, but just can not come up with anything whereby I screwed up since I owned an Elise.

tut

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campbell
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Re: Dunderheid

Post by campbell » Sat Jan 31, 2015 9:16 pm

We'll give you a separate thread, Tut...
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pete
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Re: Dunderheid

Post by pete » Sat Jan 31, 2015 9:37 pm

Back when I was a teenager I worked a car auction, part time, as a driver.

Reversing a car from the top of a transporter is quite intimidating if you haven't done it before. For starters there's actually a hell of a climb to get to the top car (the one parked over the cab) which sits, when the top deck is down, at damn near 45 degrees. Then when you do manage to climb in you remember all the stories of what happens if you mess it up and the car falls 'twix the decks. Then there is the difficulty of actually seeing out of the car, such is the angle of the car that the mirrors only see floor..

Anyway managed to reverse down without incident (in a 2.9 Scorpio automatic - just to paint the scene) and was very pleased with myself. So I slotted it into reverse and pinned it, straight into the front of the Maestro waiting to go on, with enough force to hit the one behind too.
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campbell
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Re: Dunderheid

Post by campbell » Sat Jan 31, 2015 10:43 pm

Pete's in the lead
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pete
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Re: Dunderheid

Post by pete » Sat Jan 31, 2015 11:20 pm

campbell wrote:Pete's in the lead

You're kind but Katie forgot to put the handbrake, ran herself over and ended up in hospital. (Yeah I know Robin is claiming the handbrake failed but i'm guessing he has to say that, If it was you he'd be calling it as it was.)

Graeme ended up chasing his own driverless car through the centre of Kilmarnock. He deliberately got out of his car, on a hill, and it rolled off!

I've already retold both those stories, although in my version Graeme swerves right instead of left to end up in the bus station. As Douglas Adams once said, if truth is beauty then beauty is truth. Thus my version is more true by being funnier.
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Re: Dunderheid

Post by campbell » Sun Feb 01, 2015 12:23 am

Whatever!
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j2 lot
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Re: Dunderheid

Post by j2 lot » Sun Feb 01, 2015 12:55 am

Ok - long story but bear with me:
Many many years ago my , now departed, dad was a driving instructor and branched out into teaching disabled drivers. At the time of the incident he had an automatic Maestro adapted for a driver with no feeling in his right leg so had the accelerator ' blanked off' and a bracket attached to the back of the pedal with a new accelerator pedal to the left of the brake.
So on my day off my dad arrives back from a lesson and asks if I can fill the Maestro with fuel while he goes out in another car for a regular lesson, reminding me that the adapted controls are fitted. So I go out and start to reverse out of the drive, being too close to the gatepost I then slot into 1st, at which the car starts to slowly move forward. My reaction to this was to press the clutch- which is now of course the accelerator, the effect of this was for the car to rapidly leap forward, my reaction was to press harder on the 'clutch' and smack into the front steps of the house with my foot still planted
By now the wheels are spinning, the car is buried against the front of the house, tyre smoke billowing from tortured front tyres. At this point the front door opened and my old man literally fell onto the bonnet of the car. So there we are face to tortured face seperated by a windscreen and shrouded in tyre smoke.
Amazingly the Maestro suffered very little damage but did need new front tyres fairly soon afterwards. :roll:
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robin
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Re: Dunderheid

Post by robin » Sun Feb 01, 2015 10:43 am

pete wrote:
You're kind but Katie forgot to put the handbrake, ran herself over and ended up in hospital. (Yeah I know Robin is claiming the handbrake failed but i'm guessing he has to say that, If it was you he'd be calling it as it was.)
Actually, it was really the handbrake - the cable had been adjusted so tight that you could only just pull the lever up one notch - sometimes it would "half" click and the button wouldn't pop back out properly - if you failed to notice this it would self release. So I guess if it were you or me, we would double and triple check ... but normal people expect stuff like that to work and don't think about it.

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Dominic
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Re: Dunderheid

Post by Dominic » Mon Feb 02, 2015 1:00 pm

Pete's story of the car transporter reminded me of one or two of my adventures...

Back in the days when I did a lot of autotesting, one of my sponsors use to lend me a van whenever I needed it. For a while they were giving me a transit tipper van to tow my car trailer. Another pal was just getting into autotesting, but did not have a trailer or tow car to get his autotest car to events. One evening, while loading my car onto the trailer behind the tipper van, I had an idea... I could drive my car onto the trailer, take the ramps off the back of the trailer, put them on the front, going up to the back to the transit, drive my car onto the transit, and then load my pal's car onto the trailer! So, I thought lets give this ingenious plan a go. I put the ramps in position, and started driving up onto the van,... just before I reached the van, as the angle of the car became steeper, I needed a bit more powaaarrr, so gave it some more beans :twisted: . This action managed to pull the ramp on the driver's side off the back of the transit, and it crashed to the ground... at the same time the car nose dived and tipped over / down. Bearing in mind it was a significantly lightened metro, with no weight in the rear. the car was gently rocking diagonally, with two wheels in the air, and the remaining front wheel on a perilously positioned ramp. I very gently engaged reverse gear, and went back down onto the trailer. Phew. Next attempt, I fixed the ramps in position so they could not move. With the tipper, tipped about 15 degrees, I could get the car on - just! The plan was implemented successfully thereafter.

On another occasion, another pal had crashed his super sheddy XR2i near the yard where I kept my "project cars". He was on his way to do some spannering at the yard with me at the time. So, I grabbed a van and went off to recover his car. He had properly ruined it, and was incredibly lucky - he had managed to crash into a big cheveron sign, end on, sending the edge of the sign up the bonnet, throught the windscreen and creating a massive "V" in the roof. The edge of the sign ended up resting against the headrest of the driver's seat!!!! :shock: . One of the sign posts smashed the front of car, tipped over, pulled it's concrete base out of the ground and went under the car, therefore requiring recovery. Anyway,... the car was scrap. Months later I was taking a scrappy metro that I had striped of spares to the scrapyard, so took my pals XR2i too. This would require two journeys in the trusty transit tipper van. Metro was deposited safely, but the scrappy was a bit disappointed there was no value left in it in parts. I told him the XR2i was probably better, just a bit tatty, and a bit crashed. So it comes to loading the XR2i on the tipper - I was using a big 4x4 JCB forklift to load it. I picked the car up with it, but had to travel a few hundred metres through the yard to get to the tipper. I could not really see where I was going too well, so lifted the car nice and high to give me a better view. Good, now I can see where I'm going, time for some beans :twisted: - hmmm, JCBs on rough terrain, at speed get a bit bouncy.... and the car fell off - landed on it's roof totally flattening it, and was rammed by the JCB for good measure. By the time I had turned the XR2i over, and loaded it on the tipper, it was a total wreck... poor scrappy was disappointed again. :lol:

Then,.. there was the time the car fell off the trailer.... I was moving it around the yard, using my XR4x4i rally car / shed as a tow car. I forgot that the metro was not tied down to the trailer, when I gave it some beans... :twisted:

There are other stories, but will save them for another day,.... I think most of them are the result of "giving it some beans" too... :twisted: :roll:
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