bloody flying

[j2 lot]

We use the Big D method. Wait until the queue is non existent and board last. I don't get the desire to be at the front of the queue standing waiting to then sit on the, seat allocated, plane for 30 minutes longer than I need too.

[Kelvin]

Working in Brussels Campbell. There's only so much Leffe I can drink and National Geographic I can watch. (China is screwed according to Robert Peston)

[campbell]

lol. My buddy Robert. Gotta love him.

[pete]

On mature reflection this was a Gatwick story - slipped through GLA in seconds!

The BigD method is the way to go, although the best way is to sit tight until you hear them call your name - then you know they are really ready to leave....

[j2 lot]

Wait a minute, we can't all adopt the Big D method.........

[renmure]

.... although the best way is to sit tight until you hear them call your name - then you know they are really ready to leave....

We had that little panic last week flying away to go skiing.
Bonus was that we got the extra-legroom seats by the over-wing exits for our troubles.

[alicrozier]

Wait a minute, we can't all adopt the Big D method.........

Yes the Big D method does rely on all the other sheep doing the opposite...like many things in life.
From finances to motorway queues, if you have the money, acumen, boldness or are willing to bend the rules you can be successful. Instead of getting annoyed just be thankful for the sheep.

[campbell]

Most profound, Ali

[Kelvin]

Now in Paris. Got the train from Brussels (after getting the local train into Brussels) All very civilised. It's also ticketless, I just had a note of the coach and seat number, which is sligtly odd and I didn't have a QR code thingmy on my phone as it was booked by my PA so I guess she has the code (must have words) fortunately no gates at tuther end. However, there were 10,000 armed to the teeth gendarme checking all the ID of folk getting off the train with an impromptu blockade of trolleys across the platform. Still only took minutes to get through and to my driver.

Sat beside a guy (Philippe) who is on the last part of a round the World trip he's mostly done via train and bus, except for the wet bits obviously. He hates airports too.

[campbell]

On the train today too. But flying Linlithgow-Haymarket is not that viable anyway

[alicrozier]

Most profound, Ali

The sheep enable you to be the wolf...just avoid the sheepdogs.

[tut]

You weren't flying First Class Jim? Shame on you.

tut

[BigD]

Most profound, Ali

The sheep enable you to be the wolf...just avoid the sheepdogs.

or farmer with his 12 bore.

[ryallm]

As a frequent user of the airports wot are in the sauff (for when I can't drive to let the train take the strain) I can tell you that your experience at Gatwick is played out every flying hour of every day across Stansted, Heathrow (and the wonderful experience that is terminal 3), Luton and Gatwick.

However, the problem isn't the airports, or the security protocols, or the border controls, or the shopping malls from hell and their ninja perfume death sprayers. Oh no.It's you my friend. Let me explain.

The modern World is generally rubbish. This is important and we'll come back to it. Whether it's courier deliveries that end up on your roof or in your bin on bin day, utility companies that can't bill you correctly and then accidentally cut you off when you phone up to try and pay them and then when they finally understand what they've done start billing you for the guy down the road, mobile phones that don't have any mobile phone coverage, banks that must have scam creation departments as how else have they been able to do what they've done, insurance companies that wriggle out of paying out, cars that are too complex for your local garage to fix, shops that sell two for the price of one when you only want one and the price of one is less than the price of the two for one deal, farmers that get paid less for their milk than it costs to produce it, water that's more expensive per litre than petrol, printer ink that's more expensive than chanel no 5 which is more expensive than vintage Champagne, cinema pop corn that's more expensive than steak, that it's cheaper to fly out of Stansted than it is to park there...etc...add in a few of your own. Given all of this and much much more, the modern World is generally rubbish therefore, embrace how rubbish it is, laugh off the incompetence of the utility companies, accept the random courier deliveries, treat travelling through airports as a mini-adventure to be savoured and see it as a survival challenge to get through it as quickly as possible and in the least stressful way as possible by planning every step. Once you re-adjust yourself to the rubbishness of it all suddenly it seems fine and you no longer find yourself wanting to tear the face off some border control agency worker. After all, it could be worse, you could be doing his job.

Spot on and a very entertaining read

[Fluoxetine]

guys - save yourself some pain.

Get the pass/card/ticket for priority lanes and then a lounge once airside.

I couldn't imagine not doing this - but then i was flying every week, and my BA card gets me both FOC.

The Priority Pass works for lounges and many airports will let you get through the priority security line for £5.

Yup, it costs but F*** being in a line and then stuck in the mess that is most airports.

I was flying so much I can tell you exactly where i go in most major airports to dodge the chaos.

This

I have little choice but to fly when heading home to Dublin - Alternative is several buses, a ferry and train south from Belfast = 8 hours +

Had an Aer Lingus Gold Circle card up until the start of this year (when they upped the requirements a month before I was due to renew ), and blitzing through security, straight to the solace of a quiet lounge has improved the experience no end (especially if delayed)... So much so, that when I lost the Aer Lingus membership, I stumped up for the Priority Pass mentioned above