Scottish Elises

Oh to be old...

A senior citizen drove his brand new BMW Z3 convertible out of the car
salesroom.
> Taking off down the motorway, he floored it to 90 mph, enjoying the wind
blowing through what little hair he had left.
> "Amazing!" he thought as he flew down the fast lane, enjoying pushing the
pedal to the metal even more.
> Looking in his rear view mirror, he saw a police car behind him, blue
lights flashing and siren blaring.
>
> "I can get away from him - no problem!" thought the elderly nutcase as he
floored it to 110mph, then 120, then 130mph.
> Suddenly, he thought, "What on earth am I doing? I'm too old for this
nonsense!"
> So he pulled over to the side of the road and waited for the police car
to catch up with him.
>
> Pulling in behind him, the police officer walked up to the driver's side
of the BMW, looked at his watch and said,
>
> "Sir, my shift ends in 10 minutes. Today is Friday and I'm taking off for
the weekend.
> If you can give me a reason why you were speeding that I've never heard
before, I'll let you go."
>
> The man, looked very seriously at the policeman, and replied,
>
> "Years ago, my wife ran off with a policeman. I thought you were bringing
her back."
>
> "Have a good day, Sir," said the policeman.

I might be seeing a traffic cop tonight . . . better not tell him that one so I can use it one day!

nearly as old as the man mentioned, but this could apply to a few users on the list (who tend to travel at multiple tuts )

Substitute BMW for Elise, and full head of hair, and you are smack on.

My first wife did inded run off with a policeman, and she married him shortly before I married Verian.

tut

ps never thought of that one, my last excuse on the A90 after KH was that I was a disabled War Pensioner and Police Officer, with incontinence, that had to get to the nearest toilet.

That worked fine.

tut

tut wrote:, with incontinence, that had to get to the nearest toilet.

That worked fine.

tut

Taking the piss out of the local plod

AFPMSL!!!!!!!!!!!

I think that I mentioned that my daughter picked up a ticket outside Uni last week for being back six minutes late to put another one on.

I have paid it for her, but obviously as an OAP, I can not afford this out of my meagre income, so I have just sent them the following. Of course I would not bet money on the outcome, but worth a try.

tut


"Dear Sir

I recently received a penalty parking ticket on October 10th at Buccleuch Place Pay and Display car park in Edinburgh, Notice No EH7763476A, car registration W959 GSO. The ticket was overdue by six minutes when I returned to the car.

I have paid the £30 penalty by phone through my credit card, so that I did not go above the 14 days, but I would like you to take the following information into consideration in the event that you feel a refund is justified.

I am a 65 year old 100% disabled War Pensioner, on walking sticks, and part of my medical condition is Incontinence. I had to stop at very short notice to find a toilet, but could not find my Blue Badge, so I paid for a ticket, but it took me longer than expected so I was a few minutes late back.

The details of my badge are:-

Expiry date 17/03/2008

Issued by Aberdeenshire Council (North)
Banff

Serial No: C7136


Yours faithfully


David Duncan"

Absolutely priceless!

Photocopied and sent round the whole of their office i bet!

Dave

Dave

After reading through it, and having not posted it yet, I thought that I would just embelish it a little further.

tut


"Dear Sir

I recently received a penalty parking ticket on October 10th at Buccleuch Place Pay and Display car park in Edinburgh, Notice No EH7763476A, car registration W959 GSO. The ticket was overdue by six minutes when I returned to the car.

I have paid the £30 penalty by phone through my credit card, so that I did not go above the 14 days, but I would like you to take the following information into consideration in the event that you feel a refund is justified.

I am a 65 year old 100% disabled War Pensioner, on walking sticks, and part of my medical condition is Incontinence. I had to stop at very short notice to find a toilet, but could not find my Blue Badge, so as I did not want to risk soiling myself, I paid for a ticket. As my wife and carer was not with me, it took me longer than expected, so I was a few minutes late back.

The details of my badge are:-

Expiry date 17/03/2008

Issued by Aberdeenshire Council (North)
Banff

Serial No: C7136


Yours faithfully

David Duncan"

You deserve a refund just for the pure hard-neckedness