I hope it is as entertaining to watch on TV as last year.
tut
ps:- looks as if it will also be Corbyn's and the Labour Party Black Friday.
Black Friday
Re: Black Friday
I find it all slightly depressing. Another pointless American import to encourage folk to spend money they can't really afford on crap they don't really need on stuff the shops otherwise can't really get rid of. I noted, with a sinking feeling, that every fecker is jumping on the Black Friday bandwagon; even the RAC. You'd think, after last year, some of the bigger names would distance themselves from it.
Feeling slightly jaded after two sh*t days.
I had a 5am start on Wednesday. Busy all day then a rush across to Stansted for a flight to Koln. Stansted is a soul destroying place. Like most busy UK airports you have to stand patiently watching folk make a meal of getting themselves through security. There are signs everywhere telling and showing you what you need to do. There are security drones everywhere telling folk what they need to do. Nevertheless, the vast majority wait until they get to the desks before they start sorting themselves out despite standing in a queue for 15 minutes watching everyone ahead of them: remove their belt; remove their boots; remove their laptop and tablets; take their jacket off and put it in a tray; remove their toiletries and place them in a clear bag or realise they don't have them in a clear bag and they are all the wrong size despite the fact they walked past several desks with big signs explaining what you need to do manned by people there to help them do it. Then once through security rather than lifting the tray out and sorting themselves out at the desks behind them they get re-dressed and sort their sh*t out on the rollers holding everything up before them and then leave their empyty tray behind. Regular travelling mugs like me spend their time, while waiting on my stuff to appear, piling all the trays up at the end.
Stansted then funnels you through shopping sniper alley with row after tedious row of perfume, booze, and sunglasses. Every five steps some all in black ninja with slightly too much makeup and slightly too white teeth wielding a strip of noxious perfume/aftershave tester suddenly beccomes your best friend to try and get you to buy something off them. "Good evening, off anywhere nice, done all your Christmas shopping, would you like...". No, no and no. I've done this trip so many times I've worked out the best route through shopping sniper alley that gets you past all the dawdlers and black clad ninjas.
I note with mild amusement the sign under the annoucement board that the flight information on this board cannot be guaranteed and Stansted won't be held liable for any loss due to incorrect information. I get on the train to get to my gate. Gate 37, so about as far away as you can go and remain in the terminal. Minutes pass and no movement. I can hear an alarm in the distance so have a sinking feeling that something's up. Sure enough a disembodied voice announces that the train will be held up due to a fire alarm alert ahead of us. 30 minutes pass before the train moves. I run to the gate but already know it's too late and the flight is missed. Chuffing nora.
As I stand and work out what to do next I notice a trail of people running towards me. Turns they were all on that flight too. 21 of us in total. Everyone mills around unsure what to do so I become an impromtu team leader. I stand up on a seat and confirm that they were all for the same flight. I tell them to wait there while I track down someone to help us (we're airside so a bit stuck) The gates are empty and it takes a while to find someone. She has the air of a 'customer support' person that would only love her job if it were not for the the fact she has to support customers. I explain the problem. Without lifting here eyes away from the monitor she's staring at she flicks a casual finger towards a white phone on the wall and tells me to dial 2052. This automatic response tells me this is a regular occurrence. I dial the number and a cheery voice answers and provides me with some fake sympathy "oh no, you poor things, how frustrating for you all, I'll get someone to come and get you". I go back to my new found stranded buddies and update them.
A young couple with a baby are arguing in German. I don't speak German but it's easy to follow that she's annoyed at him for them missing the flight and is using their baby as an emotional hammer to beat him over the head with. We wait, and wait and wait and get to the point where you don't know if you should wait much longer or go and phone again. I chat to my new team about this and that trying to keep morale up. In the distance a bloke in a high viz jacket comes out of a door and walks towards us. Our saviour. He looks like he's used to hitting people. I walk towards him smiling and start to explain what's happened. He puts a hand up..."My job is just to get you out of here and back to where someone can help you" One of my team tries to ask a question and he cuts her off. I point out to him that there's little need for the slightly abrasive and rude attitude, that all of these people missed their flight and are now stuck so a little understanding wouldn't go amiss. He mumbles something about it not being his fault - that world over get out of jail response that folk trot out to absolve themselves of any kind of duty to help. We follow him like lost sheep and he takes us up the service lift, through some draughty back of house corridors and delivers us back to... shopping sniper alley. I become convinced this is what happens to folk that don't buy anything. He instructs us to follow the signs back to security and they'll let us back through and out. We do and they don't. "Sorry mate you can't come out here, go back to the shopping mall and look for a door with a big blue arrow on it and a sign saying passenger missed flights. I lead everyone back to sniper alley and sure enough like some Harry Potter secret platform entrance there's the door with a big sign on it. We go through it and enter a room full of screens and bokes with guns. I explain yet again and they let us through. All told it's been two hours since I stepped onto the train to the gate.
I lead my motley crew back through the airprort to the Ryanair desk. There are 35 people ahead of us at the desk and two people manning the desk. We hunker down for the long haul and talk among us what the options are. Everyone other than me is German or lives in Germany so for them it's about getting home. There aren't any other flights out tonight from here, Heathrow is an option but not easy to get to, there's a flight from Luton to Dortmund. There's talk of hiring a car and driving there but none of them have ever driven on the correct side of the road before.
Two grey suited Standsted reps turn up. I explain again what happened. They go off and a while later come back and hand out cards - 'Customer feedback cards'. I say we're all here can't we feed it back as a group now to you two 'Customer service reps' - no it seems. My turn for the Ryanair treatment. I explain the problem to the guy behind the desk. HIs immediate and predictable response is "it's not Ryanair's fault". They must teach this to customer support folk from Alaska to Ankarra. He starts telling us what seats are available tomorrow and to where. In total he has 4 seats available to all Germany cities they fly into from Stansted. None to Koln. He has one seat to Dusseldorf - Weeze. My office is 10 minutes from Dusseldorf international but Dusseldorf Weeze is 60 miles away...from Dusseldorf. I book this seat for tomorrow and try and help the others. Some have decided to drive, some to go by train and a few to go to Luton. I offer to drive them there. We all swap numbers in case it helps with the complaining.
I eventually get home at midnight and set my alarm for 03.45 to get up for the flight the next day. This time I make the flight and all is good. Dusseldorf Weeze is a wee airport. You know this because five minutes after stepping off the plane you're through security and standing at the taxi rank. The empty taxi rank. I call the numbers listed and the earliest cab is an hour and it'll be 190 Euro. Chuffing nora. I wander back in and over to the Europcar desk. They have a VW Up available. Hateful thing. Uneventful journey and I make my meeting with five minutes to spare.
Black Friday can go fcuk itself.
Feeling slightly jaded after two sh*t days.
I had a 5am start on Wednesday. Busy all day then a rush across to Stansted for a flight to Koln. Stansted is a soul destroying place. Like most busy UK airports you have to stand patiently watching folk make a meal of getting themselves through security. There are signs everywhere telling and showing you what you need to do. There are security drones everywhere telling folk what they need to do. Nevertheless, the vast majority wait until they get to the desks before they start sorting themselves out despite standing in a queue for 15 minutes watching everyone ahead of them: remove their belt; remove their boots; remove their laptop and tablets; take their jacket off and put it in a tray; remove their toiletries and place them in a clear bag or realise they don't have them in a clear bag and they are all the wrong size despite the fact they walked past several desks with big signs explaining what you need to do manned by people there to help them do it. Then once through security rather than lifting the tray out and sorting themselves out at the desks behind them they get re-dressed and sort their sh*t out on the rollers holding everything up before them and then leave their empyty tray behind. Regular travelling mugs like me spend their time, while waiting on my stuff to appear, piling all the trays up at the end.
Stansted then funnels you through shopping sniper alley with row after tedious row of perfume, booze, and sunglasses. Every five steps some all in black ninja with slightly too much makeup and slightly too white teeth wielding a strip of noxious perfume/aftershave tester suddenly beccomes your best friend to try and get you to buy something off them. "Good evening, off anywhere nice, done all your Christmas shopping, would you like...". No, no and no. I've done this trip so many times I've worked out the best route through shopping sniper alley that gets you past all the dawdlers and black clad ninjas.
I note with mild amusement the sign under the annoucement board that the flight information on this board cannot be guaranteed and Stansted won't be held liable for any loss due to incorrect information. I get on the train to get to my gate. Gate 37, so about as far away as you can go and remain in the terminal. Minutes pass and no movement. I can hear an alarm in the distance so have a sinking feeling that something's up. Sure enough a disembodied voice announces that the train will be held up due to a fire alarm alert ahead of us. 30 minutes pass before the train moves. I run to the gate but already know it's too late and the flight is missed. Chuffing nora.
As I stand and work out what to do next I notice a trail of people running towards me. Turns they were all on that flight too. 21 of us in total. Everyone mills around unsure what to do so I become an impromtu team leader. I stand up on a seat and confirm that they were all for the same flight. I tell them to wait there while I track down someone to help us (we're airside so a bit stuck) The gates are empty and it takes a while to find someone. She has the air of a 'customer support' person that would only love her job if it were not for the the fact she has to support customers. I explain the problem. Without lifting here eyes away from the monitor she's staring at she flicks a casual finger towards a white phone on the wall and tells me to dial 2052. This automatic response tells me this is a regular occurrence. I dial the number and a cheery voice answers and provides me with some fake sympathy "oh no, you poor things, how frustrating for you all, I'll get someone to come and get you". I go back to my new found stranded buddies and update them.
A young couple with a baby are arguing in German. I don't speak German but it's easy to follow that she's annoyed at him for them missing the flight and is using their baby as an emotional hammer to beat him over the head with. We wait, and wait and wait and get to the point where you don't know if you should wait much longer or go and phone again. I chat to my new team about this and that trying to keep morale up. In the distance a bloke in a high viz jacket comes out of a door and walks towards us. Our saviour. He looks like he's used to hitting people. I walk towards him smiling and start to explain what's happened. He puts a hand up..."My job is just to get you out of here and back to where someone can help you" One of my team tries to ask a question and he cuts her off. I point out to him that there's little need for the slightly abrasive and rude attitude, that all of these people missed their flight and are now stuck so a little understanding wouldn't go amiss. He mumbles something about it not being his fault - that world over get out of jail response that folk trot out to absolve themselves of any kind of duty to help. We follow him like lost sheep and he takes us up the service lift, through some draughty back of house corridors and delivers us back to... shopping sniper alley. I become convinced this is what happens to folk that don't buy anything. He instructs us to follow the signs back to security and they'll let us back through and out. We do and they don't. "Sorry mate you can't come out here, go back to the shopping mall and look for a door with a big blue arrow on it and a sign saying passenger missed flights. I lead everyone back to sniper alley and sure enough like some Harry Potter secret platform entrance there's the door with a big sign on it. We go through it and enter a room full of screens and bokes with guns. I explain yet again and they let us through. All told it's been two hours since I stepped onto the train to the gate.
I lead my motley crew back through the airprort to the Ryanair desk. There are 35 people ahead of us at the desk and two people manning the desk. We hunker down for the long haul and talk among us what the options are. Everyone other than me is German or lives in Germany so for them it's about getting home. There aren't any other flights out tonight from here, Heathrow is an option but not easy to get to, there's a flight from Luton to Dortmund. There's talk of hiring a car and driving there but none of them have ever driven on the correct side of the road before.
Two grey suited Standsted reps turn up. I explain again what happened. They go off and a while later come back and hand out cards - 'Customer feedback cards'. I say we're all here can't we feed it back as a group now to you two 'Customer service reps' - no it seems. My turn for the Ryanair treatment. I explain the problem to the guy behind the desk. HIs immediate and predictable response is "it's not Ryanair's fault". They must teach this to customer support folk from Alaska to Ankarra. He starts telling us what seats are available tomorrow and to where. In total he has 4 seats available to all Germany cities they fly into from Stansted. None to Koln. He has one seat to Dusseldorf - Weeze. My office is 10 minutes from Dusseldorf international but Dusseldorf Weeze is 60 miles away...from Dusseldorf. I book this seat for tomorrow and try and help the others. Some have decided to drive, some to go by train and a few to go to Luton. I offer to drive them there. We all swap numbers in case it helps with the complaining.
I eventually get home at midnight and set my alarm for 03.45 to get up for the flight the next day. This time I make the flight and all is good. Dusseldorf Weeze is a wee airport. You know this because five minutes after stepping off the plane you're through security and standing at the taxi rank. The empty taxi rank. I call the numbers listed and the earliest cab is an hour and it'll be 190 Euro. Chuffing nora. I wander back in and over to the Europcar desk. They have a VW Up available. Hateful thing. Uneventful journey and I make my meeting with five minutes to spare.
Black Friday can go fcuk itself.
Re: Black Friday
Kelvin,
I've put a couple of valium in the post to you.
Meantime, thanks for sharing. I do love your in-depth exposés, they are masterpieces
That's a far too common example of hopeless. non-joined-up customer service. Interestingly, I rather like Stansted. Or rather I did, when it was a large, quiet airy cube with only a few flights going on. Very serene. Couple of years since I've been, but I certainly had noticed the inexorable march to "just another f*cking airport". For reassurance, Stansted is not the only airport to install a Retail Sniper Alley. Edinburgh has just completed its own "improvements" to this effect. Complete with "extended" security search area which moves no faster than before, and features more staff who are even more officious than before. On the upside, our Retail Sniper Alley has no Perfume Ninjas. Yet.
As for Black Friday. I also despise much of the hype and hoodwinking, however, consider this. Many a time consumers have bemoaned that they buy all sorts before Xmas, only to find them slashed in price on Boxing Day. To the point where I had begun to seriously consider postponing present exchange until at least 27 Dec to enable the best deals to be had Black Friday could be viewed as that pre-Xmas buying opportunity. If you are organised. In fact maybe you'd need to secure your own Personal Shopper Ninja, and turn the tables on the feckers...
One good thing I've noticed. Amazon Fire TV sticks are down a tenner to £25 today. I think the time has come.
Meanwhile, I am really meant to be working. Writing a training plan for a major Scottish election project. Ho hum.
I've put a couple of valium in the post to you.
Meantime, thanks for sharing. I do love your in-depth exposés, they are masterpieces
That's a far too common example of hopeless. non-joined-up customer service. Interestingly, I rather like Stansted. Or rather I did, when it was a large, quiet airy cube with only a few flights going on. Very serene. Couple of years since I've been, but I certainly had noticed the inexorable march to "just another f*cking airport". For reassurance, Stansted is not the only airport to install a Retail Sniper Alley. Edinburgh has just completed its own "improvements" to this effect. Complete with "extended" security search area which moves no faster than before, and features more staff who are even more officious than before. On the upside, our Retail Sniper Alley has no Perfume Ninjas. Yet.
As for Black Friday. I also despise much of the hype and hoodwinking, however, consider this. Many a time consumers have bemoaned that they buy all sorts before Xmas, only to find them slashed in price on Boxing Day. To the point where I had begun to seriously consider postponing present exchange until at least 27 Dec to enable the best deals to be had
Black Friday could be viewed as that pre-Xmas buying opportunity. If you are organised. In fact maybe you'd need to secure your own Personal Shopper Ninja, and turn the tables on the feckers...One good thing I've noticed. Amazon Fire TV sticks are down a tenner to £25 today. I think the time has come.
Meanwhile, I am really meant to be working. Writing a training plan for a major Scottish election project. Ho hum.
http://www.rathmhor.com | Coaching, training, consultancy
Re: Black Friday
In the dim and distant past, for a while, I had to go down to London for a few days a week with work. Got sick of that among other things so changed jobs when the chance came along. Anyhoo, back in those days (over 10 years ago) Stanstead was notoriously bad for getting through security - thankfully I had an "access all areas" security pass (for work purposes) so used the staff security route.
WRT to Black Friday, could not agree more! Good to see at least Asda have not taken part.
WRT to Black Friday, could not agree more! Good to see at least Asda have not taken part.
Re: Black Friday
Try following a BA crew of biscuit chuckers through security, you would think they had never done it before. " It your name badge setting off the detector you useless f***k". Repeat as required depending on size of aircraft.
No lotus
Exige Sport 350 (Sold)
Elise Cup 250 (Air con and radio tubby spec) (Sold)
Evora S (sold)
Exige Sport 350 (Sold)
Elise Cup 250 (Air con and radio tubby spec) (Sold)
Evora S (sold)
Re: Black Friday
Seems like a lot of consumers have voted with their feet - and their dignity - and either ignored it, or only ordered online.
On the upside, some shop workers might be on for a bit of overtime for reporting for work early etc.
http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-34941390
Come to think of it, I was in our local butcher's earlier today. Bought four ribeye steaks. Should I have asked for a Black Friday discount?!
On the upside, some shop workers might be on for a bit of overtime for reporting for work early etc.
http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-34941390
Come to think of it, I was in our local butcher's earlier today. Bought four ribeye steaks. Should I have asked for a Black Friday discount?!
http://www.rathmhor.com | Coaching, training, consultancy
Re: Black Friday
It's so depressing to go to Stansted now.
Read Foster's design precis and compare it to the mess his design has become.
Prestwick is, believe it or not, a dream to navigate. Clear views all the way through, your bag is often at the conveyor before you are. Trains and buses outside...
Just no flights.
This is what Stansted was once, click on description in the link below and see if you can find the bit where you need to stand on a chair to shout at your fellow passengers. Or the navigate Knocturn alley...
http://www.fosterandpartners.com/projec ... d-airport/
Read Foster's design precis and compare it to the mess his design has become.
Prestwick is, believe it or not, a dream to navigate. Clear views all the way through, your bag is often at the conveyor before you are. Trains and buses outside...
Just no flights.
This is what Stansted was once, click on description in the link below and see if you can find the bit where you need to stand on a chair to shout at your fellow passengers. Or the navigate Knocturn alley...
http://www.fosterandpartners.com/projec ... d-airport/
'99 - '03 Titanium S1 111S.
'03 - '10 Starlight Black S2 111S
'11 - '17 S2 135R
'17 - '19 S2 Exige S+
'23 - ?? Evora
'03 - '10 Starlight Black S2 111S
'11 - '17 S2 135R
'17 - '19 S2 Exige S+
'23 - ?? Evora
Re: Black Friday
Great find, Pete. Seems I was first there within a couple of years of opening.
Love this award - "English Tourist Board Car Park Special Award, Rural Category"
Lol
London City is my new fave now.
Love this award - "English Tourist Board Car Park Special Award, Rural Category"
Lol
London City is my new fave now.
http://www.rathmhor.com | Coaching, training, consultancy
Re: Black Friday
I was there soon after it opened. My girlfriend and I (now the current mrs pete) were going away on our first holiday - a weekend in Amsterdam. We'd got cheap tickets, that is I'd got cheap tickets through work.campbell wrote:Great find, Pete. Seems I was first there within a couple of years of opening.
Love this award - "English Tourist Board Car Park Special Award, Rural Category"
Lol
London City is my new fave now.
Unfortunately I'd made a mistake and she was flying Heathrow-Amsterdam whilst I was flying Stansted-Amsterdam. I had to drop her at LL then drive round to Stansted to get my flight.
Fortunately the staff at SS were very understanding of my plight and got me on straight away (I was travelling standby on a staff ticket so I had to explain to them - look, my girlfriend is waiting for me in Schipol. Please help me get there if not on the next flight at least today. That was back in the day when they could actually help with stuff like that and i was put straight on.)
It was a lovely place back then, all spacious and airy. Very few shops in which to buy a gift for the girlfriend who is waiting for you in Schipol...
'99 - '03 Titanium S1 111S.
'03 - '10 Starlight Black S2 111S
'11 - '17 S2 135R
'17 - '19 S2 Exige S+
'23 - ?? Evora
'03 - '10 Starlight Black S2 111S
'11 - '17 S2 135R
'17 - '19 S2 Exige S+
'23 - ?? Evora
Re: Black Friday
Lol Pete. And she still married you!
http://www.rathmhor.com | Coaching, training, consultancy
Re: Black Friday
Hate airports, hate flying, hate tourists, hate queues.
tut
tut
Re: Black Friday
I am very reluctant to fly anywhere for all the reasons above. It's just not worth it.
Kelvin, you should start using the train ... you'll get to Dusseldorf in about 6 hours - sure that's slower than flying, except no queuing, no security, no sniper alley, very little by way of officious twats bossing you about, etc. So actually it's probably only two hours slower than flying and the train goes frequently, you can change plans, change routes, get off somewhere nice along the way for the weekend, etc., etc. As your employer is paying you won't care that it costs £400.
Cheers,
Robin
Kelvin, you should start using the train ... you'll get to Dusseldorf in about 6 hours - sure that's slower than flying, except no queuing, no security, no sniper alley, very little by way of officious twats bossing you about, etc. So actually it's probably only two hours slower than flying and the train goes frequently, you can change plans, change routes, get off somewhere nice along the way for the weekend, etc., etc. As your employer is paying you won't care that it costs £400.
Cheers,
Robin
I is in your loomz nibblin ur wirez
#bemoretut
#bemoretut
Re: Black Friday
Lisa has told me I'm grounded too.
Had a work opportunity in Cyprus in January. And another in Saudi. Hmmmm.
Had a work opportunity in Cyprus in January. And another in Saudi. Hmmmm.
http://www.rathmhor.com | Coaching, training, consultancy
Re: Black Friday
Oh and next year's summer hol? North Yorkshire
http://www.rathmhor.com | Coaching, training, consultancy
Re: Black Friday
I fly to london pretty much every week and have been doing so for the last 2 years. I can't say the 4:30 start is much fun, but you get used to anything with enough practice. And practice does get you through an airport quicker. George Clooney did a film "Up in the Air" he had every step of a journey down to a fine art. I'll admit I've taken the same approach, from the moment I select my parking space at the airport to the point select a seat on the Heathrow express everything is considered with efficiency and routine in mind. I generally have a work colleague with me who soon learns the ropes of travel.
We do laugh at ourselves and our reactions when the slightest change is imposed, eg. gate 3 not gate 5, the papers are late, the train is shorter than expected or worst of all .......... a delay.
So when I get home, all I want to do is avoid planning, go to the shed and hammer some nails or potter about, and when it comes to holidays I'd rather load up the dogs, jump in the motorhome and drive West for a couple of nights away from queues.
So when it came to Black Friday a marketing concept I feel guilty about being sucked into, I could not resist a 3000 piece lego technic lorry with full pneumatic functioning rear arm. It'll be mine to build over Christmas when I don't want to think about work and for others to play with when they visit. Black Friday cut the price by 40%, no logical reason, just another marketing tool, but thanks.
We do laugh at ourselves and our reactions when the slightest change is imposed, eg. gate 3 not gate 5, the papers are late, the train is shorter than expected or worst of all .......... a delay.
So when I get home, all I want to do is avoid planning, go to the shed and hammer some nails or potter about, and when it comes to holidays I'd rather load up the dogs, jump in the motorhome and drive West for a couple of nights away from queues.
So when it came to Black Friday a marketing concept I feel guilty about being sucked into, I could not resist a 3000 piece lego technic lorry with full pneumatic functioning rear arm. It'll be mine to build over Christmas when I don't want to think about work and for others to play with when they visit. Black Friday cut the price by 40%, no logical reason, just another marketing tool, but thanks.