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Todays joke of the day

Posted: Tue Dec 07, 2010 9:53 am
by neilj37
After a long night of making love, the guy notices a photo of another man, on the woman's nightstand by the bed. He begins to worry. 'Is this your husband?' he nervously asks. 'No, silly,' she replies, snuggling up to him. 'Your boyfriend, then?' he continues. 'No, not at all,' she says, nibbling away at his ear. 'Is it your dad or your brother?' he inquires, hoping to be reassured. 'No, no, no! You are so hot when you're jealous!' she answers. 'Well, who in the hell is he, then?' he demands. She whispers in his ear 'That's me before the surgery.... '

Re: Todays joke of the day

Posted: Tue Dec 07, 2010 12:34 pm
by BiggestNizzy
Saw her on the bus to Glasgow on Friday

Re: Todays joke of the day

Posted: Tue Dec 07, 2010 1:21 pm
by Andy G
Mr Stevenson was the picture i was expecting

Re: Todays joke of the day

Posted: Tue May 05, 2020 11:43 am
by Sanjøy
A suspected Covid-19 male patient is lying in bed in the hospital, wearing an oxygen mask over his mouth and nose. A young student female nurse appears and gives him a partial sponge bath.
"Nurse,"' he mumbles from behind the mask, "are my testicles black?"
Embarrassed, the young nurse replies, "I don't know, Sir. I'm only here to wash your upper body and feet."
He struggles to ask again, "Nurse, please check for me. Are my testicles black?"
Concerned that he might elevate his blood pressure and heart rate from worrying about his testicles, she overcomes her embarrassment and
pulls back the covers.
She raises his gown, holds his manhood in one hand and his testicles gently in the other.
She looks very closely and says, "There's nothing wrong with them, Sir. They look fine."
The man slowly pulls off his oxygen mask, smiles at her, and says very slowly,
"Thank you very much. That was wonderful. Now listen very,
very, closely:
"Are - my - test - results - back?"

Re: Todays joke of the day

Posted: Sat May 16, 2020 10:24 am
by robin
Just today I was reading an article about a guy who had taken a drive through swab test. After endless fobbing off (call back tomorrow, it'll be next week, 5-10 days, ...) he reached the point where he could reasonably have died from COVID before actually getting the test results back. Eventually they advised him to take a second test (just as well he wasn't working for the NHS, 'cos he would have been off work for a month nearly waiting for the test results).

Who else pictured Tut wearing that oxygen mask - the dirty old git would have chuckled at that one :-)