Scottish Elises

sorry lads, I could not resist

and no before you ask, I won't be showing you any more until they return from honeymoon

David Bryce wrote:

'Sorry, not in those trainers mate'

Yep there goes next years racing budget

pigs can fly

Im not to sure about sitting next to a bloke in a skirt.

Look everyone, Scotty couldnt get into the car park, his 2elevens being lifted by the traffic lorry

What dyu mean that was a stupid place to park, get lost you tw*t

Wish I hadn't called him a tw*t it's gonna take me ages to get those keys out my ass

Cheers Walshy, yer a top man!

Did Andy book the Red Arrows?

tut

Brings back memories. Also a Classic from Scotty.

Spooky

I was really hung over yesterday and went for a fry up at my local supermarket. Sat down and this homeless OAP walked in. I bit my lip and carried on reading my newspaper. He was wearing a sweater with drool all down the front and a pair of joggers that looked like they hadn’t been washed and wasn’t even wearing a pair of shoes. He was carrying a bum bag that he look like he had just stolen, but it was weird he would lay it down walk away to perv over the canteen staff and then walk about looking for his bum bag that he had just laid down. The Smelly fooker sat down next to me and then started talking about the war and how he had shagged his way round the world. My food shows up and he starts stealing food off my plate, I have a word and he gives me a cheeky we smile, while spreading my toast he went to steal it off my plate, I had a knife in my hand at the time and politely told the deaf old fecker to pi55 off. Next thing he’s threatening me with a chair he could hardly lift up. Security show up and take the old man outside to have a word. Not sure what happened to him.

Weird.