LOLSanjoy wrote:Police hunting 'Knitting-Needle Nutter' who's stabbed 6 people in last 48hrs! They believe he could be following some kind of pattern...
Monday funny
Re: Monday funny
Re: Monday funny
Just got overtaken by a man in an AA van. He was talking to himself and crying his eyes out... I thought "That guy's heading for a breakdown."
W213 All Terrain
Re: Monday funny
,.... bad,. but made me laugh Re: Monday funny
lol it tickled me
quality radio 4 jokes Re: Monday funny
I was having dinner with MC Hammer and Chico last night when I asked if anyone had the time... It was absolute carnage!
W213 All Terrain
Re: Monday funny
1999 MX5 1.8 SE - Pikey fun spec
2006 Focus 1.6TDCI - Dull, sensible, commuter spec
2006 Mondeo - Dull, sensible, towing spec
1992 Bay Mare - 1 Horsepower jumping machine
2006 Focus 1.6TDCI - Dull, sensible, commuter spec
2006 Mondeo - Dull, sensible, towing spec
1992 Bay Mare - 1 Horsepower jumping machine
Re: Monday funny
Did Chico get Hammered?Sanjoy wrote:I was having dinner with MC Hammer and Chico last night when I asked if anyone had the time... It was absolute carnage!
Re: Monday funny
just tried to buy tickets for an Elvis tribute act. Bloody automated telephone booking system - I had to press 1 for the money, 2 for the show...
W213 All Terrain
Re: Monday funny
A sampling of real answers received on exams given by the California Department of Transportation's driving school.
Q: Do you yield when a blind pedestrian is crossing the road?
A: "What for? He can't see my license plate."
Q: Who has the right of way when four cars approach a four-way stop at the same time?
A: "The pick up truck with the gun rack and the bumper sticker saying, "Guns don't kill people. I do."
Q: When driving through fog, what should you use?
A: "Your car."
Q: How can you reduce the possibility of having an accident?
A: "Be too drunk to find your keys."
Q: What problems would you face if you were arrested for drunk driving?
A: "I'd probably lose my buzz a lot faster."
Q: What changes would occur in your lifestyle if you could no longer drive lawfully?
A: "I would be forced to drive unlawfully."
Q: What are some points to remember when passing or being passed?
A: "Make eye contact, and wave "hello" if they are cute."
Q: What is the difference between a flashing red traffic light and a flashing yellow traffic light?
A: "The colour."
Q: How do you deal with heavy traffic?
A: "Heavy psychedelics."
Q: What can you do to help ease a heavy traffic problem?
A: "Carry loaded weapons."
Q: Why would it be difficult to be a police officer?
A: "It would be tough to be an idiot all day long."
Q: Do you yield when a blind pedestrian is crossing the road?
A: "What for? He can't see my license plate."
Q: Who has the right of way when four cars approach a four-way stop at the same time?
A: "The pick up truck with the gun rack and the bumper sticker saying, "Guns don't kill people. I do."
Q: When driving through fog, what should you use?
A: "Your car."
Q: How can you reduce the possibility of having an accident?
A: "Be too drunk to find your keys."
Q: What problems would you face if you were arrested for drunk driving?
A: "I'd probably lose my buzz a lot faster."
Q: What changes would occur in your lifestyle if you could no longer drive lawfully?
A: "I would be forced to drive unlawfully."
Q: What are some points to remember when passing or being passed?
A: "Make eye contact, and wave "hello" if they are cute."
Q: What is the difference between a flashing red traffic light and a flashing yellow traffic light?
A: "The colour."
Q: How do you deal with heavy traffic?
A: "Heavy psychedelics."
Q: What can you do to help ease a heavy traffic problem?
A: "Carry loaded weapons."
Q: Why would it be difficult to be a police officer?
A: "It would be tough to be an idiot all day long."
W213 All Terrain